Friday, July 31, 2009

Grocery Store Musings with Me, Myself, and I

This morning I began organizing my shopping list for the week--what do I actually need for meals and what do I need to create recipes for my articles on Examiner? I made the trek child-free which was a good thing because it was a Friday afternoon--not the best time to go shopping anyway . . let alone at your friendly, neighborhood Wal-Mart. These are the voices . . .I mean thoughts that played through my head on my journey today:

There are a lot of people here today. Hmmm . . where should I start first. I need to go look for some new swimming goggles for Jacob so lets go to the back of the store first and work our way up.

Now into housewares. Where is the canning stuff? It used to be over here but now there are school supplies everywhere. Which reminds me . . when is taxfree weekend? Next weekend I think. I need to make a list for that. Anyway back to the canning stuff--I need to get those jelly jars to make Deanna's Strawberry Banana Freezer Bread . I want that banana bread recipe from her so bad. There they are! Twelve to a case! AACK! I don't need that many. Oh well, I'll figure out something to do with all of them eventually. Really I only need four.

On to health and beauty. Those kids go through shampoo faster than Jennifer Aniston swaps boyfriends. *sigh* Here's another bottle that will be gone within a week.

What's next? oooooo . . . . .books and magazines are wooing me to them . . stay away, stay away . . okay, so you didn't stay away. Just one . . . .Every Day with Rachael Ray. Why her, she's not your fave? It's for research, silly. Get over it!

Fruits and veggies. Ah! Strawberries for $2!! What a bargain! Geez! I guess so, there are only 9 cartons--8 of which have mold growing severely on them. I've got to have one for this jam recipe so I'll take the one without fuzz.

There's a lady giving sausages out as samples. She looks bored out of her mind. I'd hate to have that job. Quick, don't make eye contact so you don't have to try one. Head for the seafood!

Old lady, you're standing right in front of the peanut butter. I'm on this side of the aisle looking right where you're standing and you're looking right where I'm standing. Can't we just switch sides and everything will work out fine. No? Okay then, excuse me while I grab a jar of Jif Creamy Peanut Butter.

Okay, these college age or teens whatever they are really need to stop saying "beep" when someone is in their way. Grow up! Who are you shopping for anyway. Are you just here to irritate everyone?

Dude, I feel sorry for you. You look so lost. Your wife must have sent you to get groceries. I feel so bad. Should I help him? Nah . .if he needs my help, he'll ask. I'm a pro you know. I have the harried housewife/no makeup/frizzy haired/glazed over/I'm on a mission look going on so it's pretty obvious I know what I'm doing.

Oh no! Alert! Alert!! There's that kid that goes to school with your daughter. Abort this aisle! Abort this aisle! His mother is along! Move as fast as you can to the next aisle before she talks to you!!!

Old lady again. I'm sorry we keep meeting up like this but if you'd drive your buggy down the same side of the aisle that you're looking at, things would be a whole lot easier for everyone.

What's this??? Three little tow-headed children with mini shopping lists. Either they are on a learning expedition or their mother has sent them on a scavenger hunt to be rid of them while she shops, herself.

Why are there only small bags of flour? All the large are gone. I know it's Friday afternoon but come on. Where are the stockers?

No Breakstone sourcream in large size this week. Guess I'll be buying Daisy.

Look at these lines!! Oh well, a chance for me to catch up on the celebrity rags. Yikes! That's a scary picture of Michael Jackson. I feel like I'm being watched. Someone should cover that up!

Dad in front of me. You are being so short with your little girl. What did she do? Get off your cell phone and pay attention to her. If she's irritating you so bad you probably shouldn't be buying 5 liters of soda for her to drink eventually. Don't you know that's not good for kids and makes them hyper? That strawberry danish you've got there looks really good. mmmmmmm

Ho hum . . .thank goodness for texting while I'm waiting here in line. I'm tired of reading about Jessica Simpson and Jon and Kate.

Yay! It's my turn! I feel like I've won the lottery since I've been waiting in line for 20 minutes!

Tilitda??? I've never heard of that name before. She's the cashier so I will join in an awkward conversation about how many people use green bags these days instead of plastic. That was fun. Good bye Tilitda!

Dum de dum . . .oh no!! Impending storm. The sky is dark and there is thunder and lightening everywhere. Get home ASAP.


Cooking Mama



2 comments:

Katiesperk said...

I have had many of those thoughts myself. Wal-mart is nothing but a distraction usually in which I purchase a ton of stuff except for those items in which I need. I am also considering writing a grocery store shopping etiquette guide. I might need you as a reference!

Cooking Mama said...

Katiesperk, you are so right. I feel like I have to shop at Wally World in order to get the best prices in this struggling economy. I always end up with more than I need, however. :(

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